By Andy Spearman
There are many fake Santa’s about, but every year without fail the real Santa makes an appearance at the Moneymore Connect House.
“I have family in the neighbourhood” he told Drogheda Life, “and besides, Cliodhna and the staff at the Connect Family Resource Centre have told me that the boys and girls in Moneymore have been VERY good this year.
In an exclusive interview with Drogheda Life Santa said that he nearly didn’t make it to Drogheda this year because of storm Darragh.
“We were trialling an all new electric sleigh his year but it soon became clear that there’s not half enough charging points to get the sleigh all around the world because we have to stop to recharge our batteries so often
“So, it was decided by the Board of Directors of Santa’s Magic Kingdom dot com that we would revert to the more conventional sleigh drawn by reindeer as it has been for many, many years.
“If it isn’t broken, don’t fix it” the Managing Director of the Worldwide Christmas Corporation” said to me and nobody argues with him!”
“Talking about reindeer, could I ask you a favour and ask the children of Drogheda to leave out smaller carrots for the reindeer this year?
“We’re trialling a new breed of smaller, stronger and more efficient reindeers this year and they can’t get their jaws around the traditional size of Irish carrots.
“They’re very athletic reindeers and they’ve been jogging around the North Pole every day for the past six months to get ready for their round the world trip on Christmas Eve, so they’re on a very strict diet and large carrots are a definite no no!
“On the other hand, I have no special dietary requirements but I don’t want to put on any more weight so it would be lovely if you could leave something small like a plate of mince pies or sandwiches under the tree for me.
“If you insist, I’d love a shot of brandy also, but just a small one– I’ve a lot of houses to visit and I don’t want to fall off anyone’s roof like I did last year. Oops, I shouldn’t have mentioned that”
“Anyway, moving swiftly along, another reason for reverting to the more traditional reindeer powered sledge this year is that they are very environmentally friendly animals.
“They might do a huge poo in your garden but your Mammy or Daddy can scoop that up and feed it to the flowers and plants and they will be all the better for it. It’s like I always say, we all need a good poo now and again!”
Don’t be so rude” we said to Santa, “How did you get on with Storm Darragh? “Where was I? He asked. “Oh yes, Storm Darragh. We weren’t sure whether it was a yellow storm or a red one, so we flew very high in the sky to avail of the strong winds up there.
“The problem with that plan was that we couldn’t see the land below us and couldn’t tell where we were. We nearly landed in Dundalk by mistake!
“I have some very good friends in Drogheda, most of them in Moneymore and I always start my Christmas season off with a trial run to the Connect House to see Cliodhna and the staff who are doing great work altogether helping anyone who needs it.
“I hear that Connect are saving up for a new community building, it’s called a pub – no, sorry, not a pub, a hub! So, if you are a multi-millionaire and getting into the Christmas spirit you might like to give them one of your millions. It’d be doing much more good with them than sitting in your bank.
“If you’re not a millionaire you could perhaps make a donation of whatever you can afford via their website by clicking HERE
